It's been a while..

So today I was thinking to myself on the ride home about my spiritual walk. I realized that it could be a lot better if I would apply myself to the word and to prayer more than I have been. In actuality, I have been concentrating on trying to lose weight and exercise more than exercising my spiritual life, and I was definitely feeling the results from the lack of His word in my life.

So today I came home and was doing my QT in this QT book Steve wanted James and me to get called "My Time With God". So today's topic was "God Seeks Those Who Follow Him Faithfully" and there was a verse from 2 Chronicles 16 that spoke to me and kinda brought me back to reality.

Verse 9 says: "The Lord searches all the earth for people who have given themselves completely to him. He wants to make them strong."

I have always wanted to be spiritually strong, or at least stronger than I am now. And I always pray to God that He would grant me this and that, but I'm never consistent with Him. I will occasionally have days or maybe even weeks where I don't do QTs regularly or pray every day. So why would He give me strength when I am not dedicated to Him when there is someone else who IS dedicated to praying and to reading the word who deserves it more than me. This has definitely been a big priority-check for me. I have been putting my image, my friends, and my own time before God, the creator of the universe.

For a second I think about it and I feel like crap. I feel guilty and shameful. But then I know that thinking like that won't get me anywhere, so instead of feeling these things I want to be driven more, and that is my prayer for tonight.


God, my prayer tonight is that I will have a burning passion to meet with you everyday. Not just get my quiet time done with and pray for things I have to pray for, but really spend intimate time with you, one on one time with you where I speak with you and you speak with me. I want to have a desire to know your word and your truth more and more. I want to be like Jesus was and study the word so intensely when I read it. Overall God I just want more passion for you, and I know that the passion will come when I continue to meet with you more and more because you will reveal more and more to me. So right now I just really need consistency. God, you are so faithful to me, and you deserve nothing but my best. Nothing but my entire life. God you will accept the sacrifice of a broken and contrite heart like it says in Psalms 51, and I want my heart to be like that. Broken but made complete in you. So thank you for all the blessings in my life. Family, friends, school, freedom to worship you, a house and food to eat, so many things I take for granted. Thank you for your grace and your mercy that is new everyday, which I also take for granted, please forgive me for that. I want a new thankfulness for all the things in my life that you have given to me. I want to worship you with every breath I take in. God I just want you. Please protect me from the enemy and his temptations and deception. God you are better than this world, and I want to live a life that exclaims that. Thank you so much. I pray all this in your son's name, Amen!